Somatic Aliveness

  Taking pride in our journeys of growing up and discovering our queer essence involves honoring the full diversity of our community. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ family, I cherish this diversity and hold space for those who may not claim the word queer as their own. As a cisgender gay man, I have spent more than three decades gathering the stories of other cisgender gay and queer men—stories woven with sorrow, defiance, tenderness, and fierce love. Through them, I’ve learned that we are a people of resilience, fearless hearts, and boundless compassion. It’s from this well of shared experience that I write. And still, no matter how you name your beautiful essence, may these words remind you to honor the quiet, unyielding courage it took to carry your spirit through the fires of becoming. In previous articles , I’ve written in depth about the trauma of growing up in a homophobic and transphobic world—a world that often failed to honor our true essence—and the profound impact that h...

  Since being vulnerable does not always come easily to many of us, it is important to have empathy for anyone who struggles with it. The internet is flooded with writings and talks on encouraging people to show vulnerability. Having trouble expressing it often gets associated with a lack of authenticity. Such judgmental interpretations can frequently trigger shame in people who don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable due to certain socio-demographic factors. There is a misconception that expressing vulnerability is a matter of courage or just making a mental decision. By helping others reclaim it, I have realized the issue has little to do with bravery or honesty. It has more to do with the state of one’s nervous system. By having a somatic perspective on understanding vulnerability, we can open a new path toward befriending it.   There are many different paths toward befriending vulnerability which includes using the body to build a greater capacity to embrace it....

For many LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning) people growing up was distressing due to homophobia and transphobia. Schools felt like a scary place for those who were scapegoated as queer. LGBTQ people of color reported even worse experiences due to the additional stress of racism and racial bullying. Many of the gay men’s personal narratives that I have heard are not vastly different from my own. Regardless of national origin or skin color, we are part of a tribe with similar stories of growing up in a homophobic and transphobic world where our true essence was repeatedly assaulted. As LGBTQ people, we have connected around the theme of “love is stronger than hate” which raised awareness about our injustice and suffering. Addressing these issues have helped people to become more concerned about the mistreatment of not only LGBTQ kids, but also any youngsters who do not flow with the mainstream. More work needs to be done to make the world a safer place for m...