My Coming Out , A Journey Held by the Earth
By Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D. There was a time I was struggling to make sense of being queer. I recall feeling shame for being different. It was a lonely and confusing period not being able to “act straight” and flow with the mainstream. At the time, I needed a refuge from my oppressive homophobic environment. Sometimes, I escaped into the safety of my imagination, and I saw myself as a river on a sacred land. As a river, I could move freely and flow into an ocean. The image of a flowing river felt liberating in my body, and it was a delightful contrast to feeling stuck in the closet of shame. I was too young to realize through such an image I was experiencing movement as an antidote to my oppression. I am grateful for the offerings of my imagination during such a painful period. In my imagination , I often saw myself on a sacred ground. The concept of resorting to a sacred land was something I learned growing up. When faced with overwhelming feelings, some people in my family fo